I hated the way that I looked and the way I felt about myself.
I have spent most of my life disliking the way I look. I’m a skinny person all my life. (and I don’t like it! I really don’t) From a young age, I had been told by my family, friends and the kids at school (actually all the people around me) that I was underweight , that I was skinny, that I was very thin. Hearing this repeatedly, especially from the people in my life that are supposed to support me all through out my “skinny-journey” made it even harder for me to embrace my body.
Since I was a kid my mom tried different weight gain plans. Vitamins intake was unending, I got even shot for about a month (everyday) to force my body to gain a little weight. (Still! nothing happened) I even tried taking up weight gain capsules that all my classmates took way back in Highschool and had made them successfully gained weight. Ling Zhi, Appeton, Ped Zinc, Mozigor, Profan and so on. You name it, I tried it. But they all didn’t work. Still my body refused to add up weight despite trying to take all the vitamins I can and even eat all the food in the world. No matter how hard I tried, my body would always fight back and refused to absorb all the food supplement.
Body-shaming usually is directed towards women with curves. Recently, with the worldwide spread of body positivity, the tables have turned. I, as a naturally skinny and petite person, am being discriminated against for being thin. Aside from being told “you need more meat on your bones” and being compared to a twig and toothpicks, there are a variety of other problems only skinny girls understand. Here’s just a few I’ve encountered in the 24 years I’ve been a lady who’s thin:
I’m a Naturally Skinny Girl. I tried everything. I did my best, but my best wasn’t good enough. KtnxBye. Period
2. Being told that being skinny is unattractive.
3. People who hadn’t seen me in a while said to me, “You got even skinnier,” / “Have you lost more weight?”
Throughout my life, people — particularly older relatives or family friends who I saw infrequently — have felt the need to tell me I’m too skinny. LALO KANG PUMAYAT. PUMAYAT KA ATA? (Tagalog para intense!) You hadn’t seen me for a long time then here you are telling me : Lalo akong pumayat? Ouch ah!
4. People comparing me to a twig.
—to a stick, a toothpick (OO, AKO ANG toothpick na tutusok sayo!!! hahah), a bamboo tree, a walis tingting, to a tikling , and worst to a BULALO ( atleast, masarap!) or to anything thin they have in their coconut shell. (Aray ah! Saya na kayo? Haha) It hurts but I can’t do anything because that’s how they see me.
5. People grabbing my wrists and arms(even legs) to emphasize how small they are.
Yes!!!!! I have a small bone, you don’t need to emphasize it!
6.People think I rarely eat… well, they have no IDEA
No one is believing when I say I love food. I don’t starve myself. I’m naturally skinny and probably eat more than you. One thing is for sure: I EAT A LOT! In fact, I had pizza for lunch, burgers last night.. and unlimited MCDO fries tomorrow! P.G ako!
7. I hate Uncushioned chairs
They hurt my butt-bone. hahahahahahaha
8. People staring at my LEGS
Yas! Legs, not STICKS or Stick-O.
9. People joking that I’ll be blown away by the wind.
I’m tired of hearing the gasgas, not so funny joke: that I need to be extra careful when it’s windy outside because I might just be blown away, that I need to wear jeans with pockets and put tons of coins so the wind will not blown me up up and away! **Eh kung itali ko kaya self ko sayo! para di ako liparin. ** Wala ng bago!
10. I can’t fit into adult clothing so my resort is to shop in the kids’ section…in my twenties.
I’m 24 but I have the body of a Pre-teen. Literally! I can’t fit into an adult size clothes. At least it’s cheaper, I guess.
11. Girls who used to be SKINNY be like: Girl, ang payat mo mas mataba na ko!
Yes garl! You don’t need to prove it. You’ve been here before so **SHATAP Teh**! You already! STOP COMPARING AND JUST BE HAPPY like JOLLIBEE! hahahahahah
10. Being told “real women have curves” and “guys don’t like stick figures,”
…as if you have to shame one type of body to celebrate another. Let’s all be FAIR. (And Don’t lose faith and hope with REAL MAN! Men who doesn’t care about sizes and shapes do exist!)
12. I have no right to be INSECURE because I’m SKINNY
**Not being able to gain weight no matter what I do**, people rolling their eyes when I’m voicing out this frustration to them.
I’ve never been blessed to have a healthy body weight my whole life. I can’t think of a time when I was in an appropriate weight for my height and age. I was always underweight! People are always concerned about the way I look and it’s frustrates me a lot. I used to listen to background noises of society. I used to believe with what they say. My weight stresses me my whole life because that’s what I wanted. I got affected with what other people say. Well, as I grew older I realized that people doesn’t care much about me. I should care about myself.
Now, I have learned two important things in life. First, to love myself as I am. Second to appreciate my body regardless of my size. Loving yourself not just from the inside but more importantly the outside will help you embrace your true self.
I don’t want to be told I’m a toothpick who looks like a teenager. I am a mature 24-year-old with a healthy body, and I’m proud of that. I’m thin , healthy and happy. Don’t tell me to eat more. Don’t try me to gain weight. Don’t try to push your ideals on me in anyway, I’m perfect the way I am and I don’t need your approval. And I get that we’re trying to promote positive body images, but stop saying ” Skinny is not sexy”. It just might hurt feelings.
Skinniest of them all,
If you’re skinny just like me: Girl, you’re d*mn hot and sexy!